Humor: Why Bank Robbers Should Use Bicycles Instead of Getaway Cars - Neosho Daily News
Headlines are quick hits from media outlets from Missouri and around the world. Follow the headline link for the full story. The source of this headline says:
Everybody bikes. Little children bike. Very old people bike. Skinny people bike, fat people bike. People of all ethnicities and skin colors bike. People with disabilities bike. Health nuts bike. Drunks smoking cigarettes bike.
People bike to all places for all reasons. We bike hundreds of miles to visit dozens of state parks. We bike to visit family and friends. We bike with family and friends. We bike to the grocery store, to the dentist, to the doctor. We bike to the hospital to give birth. We bike with enormous trailers to move furniture, Christmas trees, or lumber.
We bike to the bank. I bike to the bank to deposit money I earn as an instructor for bicycle classes and as a ride leader.
Some of us bike to the bank to withdraw money.
Over the holidays, some of my friends went on bike rides to escape their families for a little while. Some bicycle to escape the weight gain of Christmas feasting. Some bicycle to escape the pressures of the holidays.
Still other people bicycle to withdraw money and then bicycle to escape.
They aren't bike thieves. Bike thieves are people who steal bikes. Bicyclist thieves are thieves who ride bicycles.
I'm always happy to hear that people are biking. The news this week featured a bicyclist-- a bank robber who used a bicycle as a getaway vehicle for 6 bank robberies.
Perhaps the bank robber bicyclist had read the article "Why Bank Robbers Should Use Bicycles Instead of Getaway Cars", which presents compelling, logical, rational reasons in favor of using a bicycle as a getaway vehicle over using a car. Bicyclist is such a healthy activity, it just makes sense.
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