Just in time for Bike Month: Phil Gaimon's NEW RULES OF CYCLING - the Philuminati - with demonstrations by TV star Michael Muhney - YouTube

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As a retired pro, I thought it was time to rewrite the rules. I first wrote this a few months ago, but I thought it should live here where more people could find it and share it. Thanks to good friend and riding partner Michael Muhney for help demonstrating the do's and don'ts! Share this with someone you see breaking the rules.

MoBikeFed comment: If you're not familiar with "The Rules" by the "Velominati", you can read more about them here:


The "Rules" cover everything from what to wear to how to tan:

* Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp.
* Saddles, bars, and tires shall be carefully matched.
* The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
* Know what to wear.

The Rules started as something of a spoof of the culture of bicycle racing and hard-core road riding. But since being published online, they have taken on something of a toxic veneer.

We like Phil Gaimon's NEW RULES a lot better. Take a look at them here:


Rule #1: Everyone riding a bike and being safe and having fun is doing it right.

Rule #2: Wear whatever the **** you want.

Rule #3: Nothing on your bike has to match. Cycling is already expensive, complicated, elitist, and often sexist and racist. Don’t make it harder because someone’s tires aren’t the same brand.

Rule #4: A Gran Fondo is as competitive as you want it to be, but the group ride is a workout, not a race. You should have no feelings about winning, not winning, who crossed the imaginary line first for no prize or how they did it.

Rule #5: In traffic, we take the space we need, obey the laws that make sense for us, and try to be courteous. Pedestrians have right of way. If you want cars to respect cyclists, cyclists have to respect people on foot.

Rule #6: We all wave to each other. This includes triathletes, commuters, e-bikes, homeless people, and scooters. We’re in this together. The enemy is car culture.

Rule #7: If you’re not into helmets that’s your decision, but do respect the policies of who you’re riding with. We don’t helmet shame (adult) strangers we see without them, but don’t show up on the group ride like that if that’s not how everyone else does it.

Rule #8: Strava is a social media platform, not a race. Follow Strava’s policies, express yourself with your cool bike rides and your pictures and fitness. If you lose a KOM, you remember that a KOM means nothing. You give Kudos and get inspired to improve and try to take it back.

Rule #9: For ****s sake don’t litter. I can’t believe I have to say that.

Rule #10: Suffering is a choice–not a rule. You’re no more of a cyclist than someone else because you go faster or they stay home when it’s raining.

Rule #11 (This is broad to cover anything I’m missing): Don’t be a dick.