One way to total a carbon-fiber Trek . . .

Phil Gash submitted this amusing story he heard on a recent ride:
My stoker and I cycled about 1/4th of the Lewis and Clark Trail starting in St. Charles last July and we finished in Vermilion, SD. We traveled on a tandem and lived out of our panniers for a few weeks.

After the Katy Trail we rode from Boonville to Smithville in a couple of days. We got to Smithville early, so I decided to clean up the tandem. I was at on end of the motel's parking lot. In mid-afternoon a lot of pickups with big bass boats started pulling into the motel. There was a bass tournament the following day, Saturday I believe. So they opened an iced chest of beer and started talking fishing, and pretty soon a few of them wondered down to me, gave me a beer and began asking questions about how I managed on a tandem bike. One fellow said he understood why I liked cycling so much, his two brothers were into it. I asked if they rode mt. bike or road bikes. He said he didn't know, but his younger brother had a new carbon fiber TREK, so I knew that he was a road cyclist. Then he added the brother had totaled the bike. I asked if his brother was hurt, he said no. That seemed odd, so I pressed him for the details.

His brother had a top rack for his TREK and had driven to Calif to see relatives. He returned via Hwy 50 in Nevada, which has been called the most lonely road in America. His brother got bored and decided to think of something challenging to do. And you know what that was ? Seeing how long he could hold his breath.

I don't know how long the brother could hold his breath, but he passed out, went off the road, rolled the car which of course totaled the TREK, and the brother walked away without a scratch....

Now I know why bass fishing is a safe sport.