Dear gas companies: Thank you!

Dear gas companies,

I'd like to thank you for raising gas prices so high that I'm forced to take my bike down from its lofty resting place on the garage ceiling, take her to the bike shop and make sure she's road-worthy again.

You've inspired me to take advantage of the opportunity to get into better shape by riding my bike to work and to make my child walk to his job. This will no doubt save on gasoline and wear and tear on that thing with wheels that gets me around.

. . . thanks to you and those geniuses who make all the decisions in your company, that’s all about to change. It only takes about 20 minutes to ride to work, and it’s only 11 miles round trip. If it weren’t for your soaring gas prices at $3.30 a gallon, I’d be stuck driving my car, burning fewer calories and watching my muscles soften. This will also allow me to work on my traffic-dodging skills. . . .


I’d be remiss if I didn’t take time before closing this letter to thank you for challenging the American public and for pushing organizations to exercise their resourcefulness in finding alternative transportation. You may have unwittingly found the cure to overweight Americans, heart disease, diabetes and other illnesses associated with poor exercise. You should be commended.